How to Embrace Your Feminine Energy (in a Masculine World)

For years, I leaned heavily on masculine energy, so much so that I rarely allowed my emotions to surface. Because showing any vulnerability would be the end of me, right? I could relate very little to the concept of feminine energy, yet somehow never felt woman enough.

Because at the same time, I was bombarded with the message that being a woman – being feminine – meant acting ‚girly‘, pushing aside your intellect, wearing pretty dresses and make-up, and caring about little more than being appealing to men.

Is that femininity? I‘ll be honest with you: it annoys me that a lot of the online discourse about feminine energy still circles superficial topics like style and seduction.

Many publications I came across, while diving deeper into my own femininity and researching the 7 Feminine Archetypes, reinforce a very problematic image of femininity and often reduce women to their appearance or sexuality.

Looking at it through a more holistic lens, feminine energy is so much bigger, and infinitely powerful. Maybe you are familiar with the duality of yin and yang – that comes much closer to the truth about feminine energy.

And behind it lies a spiritual concept that – surprise – does not only relate to women.

So, what is feminine energy?

Feminine energy is one of the two cosmic forces that reside in all things being – including us humans. It is believed that we all carry both feminine and masculine energy within us.

We sometimes also speak of the divine feminine or yin energy, as opposed to the divine masculine or yang energy. Everything we experience is made up of these two forces, a neverending dance.

This means anyone, regardless of their gender, can access feminine energy and harness it in everyday life for more healing, inner guidance, and nurturing.

It’s worth noting that while both masculine and feminine energies exist within everyone, we tend to default to one energy over the other.

Women, for instance, often lean towards their feminine energy, while men may naturally default to their masculine energy. This is no definite rule (I‘d definitely say I‘m one of the many exceptions myself), but a general tendency that can be a result of upbringing, culture, and individual personality traits.

In any case, there is nothing wrong about being more or less feminine and nobody should be shamed for the way they express themselves.

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Typical feminine energy traits

When speaking of feminine energy, we usually refer to traits like:

  • Empathy and compassion
  • Being over doing
  • Intuition
  • Creativity
  • Nurturing
  • Receptivity
  • Collaboration and community building
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Alignment with nature and its cycles
  • Focus on relationships

Looking at these traits, gender is not implied. However, displaying the above traits often gets rewarded in females and disregarded in males.

As a society, we definitely still have a long way to go when it comes to understanding and embracing healthy expressions of masculine and feminine energies.

5 myths about feminine energy (that need to stop)

Now, I already mentioned I was a little upset, so let‘s clear some misconceptions about feminine energy before we continue. I hope this helps people to get a clearer understanding that does not reduce our true internal power to stereotypes.

#1 Feminine energy is NOT only for women

I‘ll be honest, it does make sense that people get confused. I would attribute this to two reasons:

  • female and feminine are very similar words and are often used interchangeably
  • in our society, we expect women to have qualities that align with feminine energy and expect men to express more masculine energy

It‘s likely that more women do indeed naturally display more feminine qualities. But is that biological? Or social conditioning?

In reality, all people have a blend of masculine and feminine energies within them, regardless of their gender identity.

Maybe changing the language around the concept would help. Personally, I like calling it yin energy – it is a more neutral wording that we can all relate to.

#2 Feminine energy is NOT weak

In a world celebrating masculinity, the feminine has often been viewed as weak. To this day, many men are afraid to open up to their emotions and show vulnerability because it is considered ‚feminine‘ and thus negative.

Well, I‘ve got news for you. Feminine energy can be incredibly powerful and transformative. The healed feminine has boundaries (and we all know how important those are). We can use our intuition to make better decisions, tap into our creativity to solve problems in innovative ways, and connect with others and ourselves on a deeper level.

In short, embracing yin energy can help us become the best versions of ourselves, and can be a powerful tool for personal and societal transformation.

#3 Feminine energy is NOT subordinate to masculine energy

The idea that feminine energy is subordinate to masculine energy is a deeply ingrained cultural myth that has persisted for centuries. This misconception is based on the false belief that masculine qualities like strength, power, and dominance are superior to feminine qualities like nurturing, empathy, and intuition.

In reality, they are simply two different aspects of the same whole, and both are essential for creating a balanced and harmonious life.

When we buy into the misconception that masculine energy is superior, we can end up neglecting our feminine energy and missing out on all the gifts that it has to offer.

Together, we create magic.

#4 Feminine energy is NOT passive

The misconception that feminine energy is passive or submissive is not only incorrect, but it can be outright dangerous. We don’t want spirituality to reinforce harmful gender stereotypes that contribute to abuse and violence against women and marginalized groups.

Someone passive or submissive may be viewed as less deserving of respect and autonomy, creating an unhealthy power dynamic where the person with more perceived power feels entitled to exert control. This can also lead to ignoring or dismissing signs of mistreatment.

While it’s true that feminine energy is receptive and open, it’s far from passive. A healthy connection to the yin includes firm boundaries and the ability to stand up for ourselves and others.

#5 Feminine energy is NOT incompatible with success

The world of business is (still) defined by patriarchal structures. It celebrates and rewards primarily masculine traits like ambition, assertiveness, and competitiveness.

Ultimately, this led a lot of professionals to suppress their feminine energy. It exposes a deep-rooted fear that leading with gentleness and intuition will have us judged as incompetent, weak, or overly emotional. And what do we get from this? A whole lot of burnout, hustle culture, and a rise in mental health issues.

Contrary to what was long believed, embracing feminine energy can be a powerful tool for success, as it allows us to tap into our creativity and emotional intelligence to make more informed and holistic decisions.

Luckily, we are finally starting to see some more appreciation for feminine leadership.

Why do we need feminine energy?

When we prioritize masculine energy over feminine energy, we create a world that is imbalanced and out of harmony. This can lead to a focus on competition over collaboration, control over connection, and individualism over community. These imbalances can create harm to ourselves, others, and the planet we live on.

Feminine energy is an essential and valuable part of our human experience. We harness it to create a more compassionate and inclusive world as well as to take better care of our emotional and spiritual health.

Embracing your feminine energy can help you to:

  • make more meaningful connections
  • develop deeper self-awareness and compassion
  • find meaning and purpose
  • embrace vulnerability as strength
  • heal from past trauma and pain
  • make a positive impact in our communities
  • express creativity
  • accept and work with the natural cycles of life
A powerful woman kneels on the floor and throws sand into the golden evening light, a scene of feminine empowerment and grace.

What is the wounded feminine?

The wounded feminine is a term that refers to the collective pain, trauma, and oppression experienced by women and those who identify with their feminine energy. It is a result of centuries of patriarchal structures, gender-based violence, and cultural expectations that have devalued and marginalized feminine qualities and ways of being.

The wounded feminine can manifest in a variety of ways, for example:

  • low self-esteem and insecurity
  • victim mentality
  • lack of boundaries and passivity
  • self-sabotage and manipulative behavior
  • codependency and neediness
  • a sense of disconnection from your feelings or intuition
  • emotional trauma (including sexual abuse and domestic violence)

Underneath it all lies the core belief that femininity is wrong and a sign of weakness. Needless to say, this can be incredibly challenging to heal from because those patterns are still deeply ingrained in cultural and societal norms.

However, we can actively recognize the existence of the wounded feminine and work to heal it.

As a collective, we benefit from valuing and uplifting feminine qualities and ways of being, supporting survivors of gender-based violence, and challenging patriarchal structures and cultural expectations that perpetuate the wounded feminine.

Two female friends holding each other's hand. Reducing social media can help to connect in real life.

Balancing feminine and masculine energy

As a result of how our world is structured, a lot of us spend a bit too much time in our masculine energy. Sometimes, we are just trying to protect ourselves but there is potential harm to it.

Let me clarify, is no problem with having a lot of masculine energy – as long as we do not shut out the feminine completely. As with everything in the universe, there needs to be a certain balance.

Ideally, we would experience an equilibrium between the two energies and be able to shift fluidly between them as needed.

11 signs you may have too much masculine energy:

  1. You are overly competitive and driven to succeed at all costs.
  2. You have difficulty relaxing and find it hard to disconnect from work or other obligations.
  3. You dismiss your emotions and intuition when making decisions.
  4. You have a tendency to be aggressive or confrontational in your communication style.
  5. You struggle with vulnerability and find it hard to share your emotions with others.
  6. You have a need for control and cannot surrender or let go.
  7. You struggle to receive pleasure and be intimate.
  8. You are disconnected from your physical body.
  9. You struggle with relationships and find it hard to connect with others on an emotional level.
  10. You have a tendency to judge yourself and others harshly.
  11. You feel a sense of burnout or exhaustion from constantly pushing yourself.

Is that you? As a woman with a lot of masculine energy, I feel you. While a lot of that yang energy does serve me, I had to actively work to unravel the aspects of it that were doing me a disservice.

When I allowed myself to recognize the strength in vulnerability, started fostering meaningful connections more, and dreamed up big creative projects, I finally started feeling a sense of wholeness I had been missing.

It‘s been a beautiful journey of softening and, if you feel called, I can only encourage you to explore your feminine side.

The 7 Feminine Archetype Workbooks are finally here ♥

It’s been a little dream of mine to create workbooks for diving deeper into the feminine, as a tool for reflection and self-exploration.

I’m so happy to announce they are now available!

How to embrace your feminine energy

Whether you’re looking to strengthen your existing yin energy or exploring this aspect of yourself for the first time, there are numerous ways to tap into the feminine.

Especially when we focus on habits and activities that cultivate a sense of intuition and connection, our feminine energy tends to thrive.

I don‘t want to make this blog post endless, so I‘ll keep this section short.

Here are some suggestions for increasing your feminine energy:

  • take time to rest and recharge
  • connect with nature
  • practice mindfulness (breathwork, journaling, meditation, …)
  • express your emotions and learn to communicate non-violently
  • join a women’s / men’s circle where you can connect and express yourself freely
  • engage in creative activities (painting, singing, writing, dancing, …)
  • focus on community
  • practice empathy and active listening
  • allow yourself to receive
  • create a sacred space for yourself
  • practice gratitude
  • spend time exploring and connecting with your body
  • listen to your inner voice when making decisions
  • start flowing instead of forcing

Most of these are probably straightforward enough, but if you have any questions about feminine energy and how to embrace it, feel free to comment below!

Whenever discussing feminine energy with others, I can’t help but feel inspired by the beauty and power of this energy. It’s a force that has been misunderstood and undervalued for far too long, but we are now at a time where we can embrace it fully and use it to create a better world for ourselves and those around us.

So let’s celebrate our feminine energy and honor its wisdom ✨

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20 Comments

  1. Thank you very much for the great and insightful information provided in this website.
    I really appreciate the effort you put into this and the creative and beautiful art work you made. May God bless you and enlighten your journey to the greatest places you deserve to reach.

  2. im a male and for a long i felt imbalances within, being burnout, lacking connection to inner voice, overly emotional and so on. now i find it clear that it was the divine feminine energy i was lacking since i have had a long years since childhood to be of overly competitive and of highly power seeking nature. thank you for this blog. now im more into embracing this divinity. blessings

    1. Thank you for sharing!! I’m always so excited to see men diving into this work, too. It just shows how we are ALL affected by our world’s current conditioning. How beautiful you are now starting to embrace the divine feminine and nourishing this side of you. Enjoy the journey!
      Anna

  3. Hi Anna,

    Thank you for the wonderful article. I’m in a journey of healing my feminine energy, and this article helped me gain some clarity.
    What other resources (books, articles, podcasts, documentaries, …) do you recommend to learn more about feminine energy?
    Take care,
    Ariana

    1. Hi Ariana,

      I’m excited for you being on this journey, thank you for your comment! I have a few book recommendations listed here: https://www.wherewonderwaits.com/feminine-archetypes-books/
      Personally, I believe one of the best ways to learn about feminine energy is through real-life sisterhood. If you have any women’s circles in your area, that’s a really wonderful way to gather with other women on this journey and learn from each other 🙂

      Take care
      Anna

  4. Thank you for this post! I am male with very strong yang tendencies because of how I was raised and grew up, but I am looking to better embrace my yin side and find more balance. The information you shared was very helpful for me to identify areas in my life that I can focus on to start finding that balance. I’m looking forward to the positive changes it will bring!

  5. Hi Anna. I am a boy. Your artical really helpful for know about feminine enargy. As a boy, I really like to embody with my feminine enargy. What is recommend that, Is it good to make leading feminine enargy or keep both enargy same?

    1. Hi Amila, I think it differs for each person! Some people feel most comfortable at a 50:50 balance, whereas other people thrive on a 70:30 ratio etc etc. Find out what works for you best personally, if you feel drawn to express your feminine energy more, it’s probably a good idea to do so! 🙂

  6. Hi Iam Anjali and want to from where do you learnt all these things iam also very curious to learn these things if you could tell me from where you have learnt all these then it would be very helpful.

    1. Hi Anjali! The things I write about come from many sources – part of it is my own experience of the world and perspective on it, plus what I’ve learned in conversations with others, and then of course I’ve also read plenty of books on topics like these, from more scientific to spiritual texts. When it comes to feminine/masculine energy, we are definitely more in the spiritual realm but the idea shows up in many philosophies around the world (e.g. the Chinese yin & yang concept or taoism, Carl Jung’s theories on the masculine & feminine, Tantra/Hinduism with Shiva and Shakti, etc.). Learning about these philosophies can be a great starting point to widen your understanding of these topics 🙂 hope this helps! Anna

  7. Hello Anna, thank you for an insightful and inspirational post. I have the good fortune to work with some female colleagues who epitomise feminine energy. How powerful, effective, good, and humane their energy is. It’s a privilege to be enriched by these women and their energies, to be their ally (as there are still linear, directive, uncreative, blocking masculine energy holders to deal with), and to be inspired to liberate my feminine energy. I’m pleasantly surprised and thrilled by how much feminine energy a man can hold, and how it can work in balance with the masculine. A bit of a dynamic balance, like riding a horse in loving partnership across varied terrain. It was a joy, as a man, to let my feminine energy carry me away from grey corporate appearance into being softer and more colourful. This is a work in progress, but isn’t life a journey? But also, at this moment, I feel a sense of arrival at having the language to express this wonderful, loving realisation. To be honest, embracing feminine energy is a falling in love. Your words have helped me to make this more tangible in my mind, and encouraged me. Thank you, god bless you, and travel beautifully and safely.

    1. Julian, I’m so inspired to see more and more men diving into this work! This is the balance our world needs. Thank you so much for your beautiful words. Enjoy this wild journey called life!

  8. Hello Anna,

    Thank you for this very insightful article.
    For a long time I didn’t understand why although I’m a female, I couldn’t really tap so much into my feminine energy. Now I understand and appreciate these 2 energies and look forward to striking a balance between my feminine and masculine energy.
    Is it possible to know what gender you attract more if you are into the masculine energy and vice versa?
    Also are there men who are more attracted to women with 70: 30 of Masculine and feminine energy respectively?

    Thank you
    Mareya

    1. Hello Mareya,

      thank you so much for your comment. It’s wonderful to hear that the article helped clarify the balance between masculine and feminine energies.
      To answer your question, I observe that people are often drawn to the energy that complements their own, but attraction is sooo individual and can vary widely. There are certainly men who are drawn to women with a stronger masculine energy! (I can tell because I am one of them.) It’s really all about the unique dynamic that works for each relationship. Don’t feel like you need to conform to gender stereotypes or external expectations of femininity in order to find love, rather look for the sweet spot where YOU personally feel balanced and whole 🙂
      All the best!
      Anna

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